Crossing the Rubicon…

Back when I used to try all my possible best to hold people down in my life; beg, coerce, whine and do whatever it takes to keep them in it but overtime, I came to the realization of the fact that the people in your life, like life itself, is transient. People like time come and go and as we progress in our age, maturity and all other factors that represent growth, we tend to need a new set of people and cut off some. Of course there are some people you cannot do without, Family, Friends who have become family (like Vivian Udeh @viveeyan,sorry but I just had to). People who will accept you for whom you are and will stick with you till the end of time. There are also people who are just bus-stops in your journey through life, you stop to take a rest, get a little familiar but they are not your destination, in time you have to move on and head to where you really belong.
It therefore is sad when I see people behave like the old me; clinging, clawing and do whatever it takes to remain relevant in a person’s life. This is the reason for bitter break-ups and dirty divorces, one party does not want to accept the other party’s decision to try new grounds and so make everything harder than it is supposed to be, for chrissakes there are a lot of fishes in the ocean and if one person decides they are tired of your shit (pardon my language), another will offer you their toilet seat. So no matter how hard it is, we have to know when our period of validity is over and it’s time to seek new grounds. Don’t force anything, don’t make the other person see reasons for him/her to stay with you, just take a deep breath, close your eyes and let go, their lose. Remember, for that person to muster the sane courage to tell you they do not need you anymore, It means they really don’t. Do not try to patch things up and accept lesser, this will only lead to more heartache as you are no longer relevant to that person and that is how they would treat you if you leech on; Irrelevant. It can be hard, you have pictured a future with that person, the number of kids you would have, the kind of gifts you would give them for their next birthday etc. They might have known you like the back of their hands, you might have let down your guards, make them see your weakness and flaws, readily open up to them on things you would never share with anyone but if they decide they cannot handle you at your weakest, they do not deserve you at your best. They too are humans like you who have their own right to chose whom to stay with so respect that fact. Keep your bitterness to yourself; do not try to convince them with it. Avoid the green sign on your phone. Do not drown them with text messages as you would come off to them as being desperate and having no choice and we all know those who have no choice; Beggars. So move on, make new friends, improve on yourself, put right the wrong and be the most amazing person you can be. You are human, bound to make mistakes, the breakdown in the relationship may even be their fault but however it is, do not beat yourself up because sooner or later, if that person is not the one for you, you will still part ways. You may not be perfect in their sight and in the sight of many others but someone out there will accept you for whom you are. God bless us all.